A few years back, a television producer invited me to meet with her to talk about the possibility of putting together a TV show pitch for a parenting show featuring me.
We had a great conversation.
We shot some film.
And, at the end of the day, the producer took me aside and told me that she thought I'd be perfect as the host of a parenting show.
There was just this one problem.
I would have to lose a serious amount of weight.
She was just being honest, she said.
None of the major networks would consider taking on a show with an overweight host.
* * *
That conversation freaked me out -- and it freaked me out for a long time.
I lost the confidence I had previously had before the TV camera.
I stopped pursuing opportunities to appear as a guest on parenting and lifestyle TV shows, having concluded that I was a misfit in a world of perfect hosts and perfect guests.
I went into hermit mode.
I gained 60 lbs.
I felt even worse about myself.
* * *
As I am embarking on this weight loss journey, I feel the need to state this quite emphatically:
I am not losing weight because of the pressure I have faced to lose weight.
I am losing weight in spite of it.
The motivation to pursue change must come for the right reasons and it must come from within.
I have finally reached that place.